Osé, Oh Yay!

I’m the kind of woman who needs at least one orgasm a day. When “excess” masturbation is discussed, men are usually the “culprits” but I suspect many women would masturbate more if they had a chance (to be alone, undisturbed, with time on their hands). Enforced isolation and working from home has not been terrible for these women, in this regard at least. Anyway, is there such a thing as too many orgasms? Only if it gets in the way of important life stuff, I would argue.

Without knowing this about me, the kind and psychic folks at Lora di Carlo sent me their new toy, the Osé 2, to try out before the official launch. I’ve been following LdC for some time, ever since the media furore that surrounded their sudden exclusion from the CES tech trade show in 2019 and their show award was withdrawn for mysterious reasons. The organisers mumbled something about immoral and offensive products, whilst deftly side-stepping the fact that the Harmony sex doll was launched at their show the previous year, along with interactive VR porn “experiences”. Sex is the canary in the coal mine of the internet and tech in general. Do you get annoying buffering when streaming videos? No? You have the porn industry to thank for that. The gangster move by Lora was to expose, in voluble fashion, the hypocrisy of the tech bros, who were unable or unwilling to acknowledge that sex tech for women was as important to humanity as their boys’ toys. The organisers capitulated, much press and social media PR was generated, and LdC won multiple awards for their first generation of Osé.

LdC is not just selling sex toys; they are selling the concept of sexual pleasure and wellness – the idea that we should take time to savour and discover our bodies. Each purchase of the Osé comes with a free one-to-one “fit consultation”, i.e. a Zoom meeting with one of their experts, to show you how to use the product and make it work for you. After I’d taken delivery of the Osé 2, I got a follow up to see how I was getting on with it. What other consumer sex product gives you this kind of pre- and post-sales service? This is the Tesla of sex toys.

The important thing to note is that the Osé 2 is not a vibrator. It’s a high-spec robotic toy utilising biomimicry, i.e. doing what a human does, or would do if they were very attentive to their partner’s needs. Mine came packed in a large fancy box (the toy, not my partner), packed like a massive and heavy iPhone, with the words “The pleasure is all yours”. Yes it is, thank you very much. The toy is big. And also smooth, with a texture and colour a bit like Plasticine but is actually very high-grade silicone. Naturally it comes with a USB charger and a little drawstring storage pouch.

I had my eye previously on the Baci by LdC. I’d always said that I wished there was a toy that could imitate the soft, wet sucking action of lips and tongue on my vulva and my nipples. A version of this is what you get on one end of the Osé 2. This bulbous end is shaped like a vulva with a central mouth that covers your clitoral head and sucks it at different speeds. I was told to use lubricant to ensure a seal around the mouth but I didn’t find any problem with not using lube, maybe because my generous labia easily wrapped themselves around the mouth, and I don’t have much pubic hair in the way. For some folks, they may wish to part their bush and make sure no hair gets in the way of forming a seal. Of course, it didn’t take me long to have a heart-stopping climax, with just half the toy in use.

The idea of the Osé and Osé 2 is to create blended orgasms – clitoral and vaginal. I must say that I’m one of the lucky ones, who climaxes easily with stimulation of either clitoris, labia, nipples or G-spot. But short of having an octopus or an orgy, it is rare to get stipulation from all those quarters simultaneously. Which is where the robotic arm of the Osé 2 comes in. It imitates the come-hither motion of a finger pressing and sliding on the G-spot. The controls allow you to adjust the length of the stroke as well as the speed. Again, no vibration. It take a little bit of trial and error to bend the arm to fit your pelvis to get optimal contact of the toy on exactly the right internal and external points of pleasure. Perseverance pays off though. With a bit of practice I could even hold the entire toy between my thighs, leaving my hands free to wander around my nipples. Needless to say, I came in seconds and several times, and ended up in a spent, heaving, happy, wet mess.

If I have one issue it is that the pressure on the clitoral sucker is too hard and too fast. My personal preference is to have very slow and gentle suction on my clit and surrounding area. The lighter the touch, the greater my arousal and delight. I tell lovers to imagine my vulva as a rose, with petals that must be stroked without bruising them. I use the lowest setting on most of my toys. I can only use my Magic Wand through clothing, whereas I know other people like to use it on the max setting, which would literally feel like burning my clit off. I would have liked a toy that literally mimicked my partner’s gentle, wet tongue and lips, but since I have that (him) already, I’m kinda sorted. I also tried the clitoral sucker on my nipples, because that’s the toy that’s missing in my life. It does the job, but way too hard and fast for my liking.

The Osé 2 is, I’m told, not a toy for the everyday, quick orgasm. It’s for the slow, lingering sessions, where you take time to discover all your body’s pleasure centres. You’re supposed to experiment with the different features, angles and speeds of the toy, and enjoy the slow unfurling of arousal. Even whilst I disabuse this notion by climaxing in under a minute, I applaud this sentiment. At the age of 47, I’m still discovering new ways that my body can give me pleasure. You’re never too old or too young to learn about your body’s amazing feature-set.

The Osé 2 costs $290, which underscores the fact that this is a high-quality, high spec toy. It’s not cheap, but then neither should any of your sex toys be cheap. A cheap and disappointing sex toy is the worst false economy and you can’t even give it away or send it back! More importantly, your sexual pleasure is a thing to be prioritised – it deserves the best in show.