When I take pictures that show how much I care about image and clothing and post them on Instagram, I am in no doubt that I invite people to think me vain and shallow. I don’t feel any need to justify what I do, and in fact, if more people (especially men) took some time to present a good version of themselves as opposed to not caring what they look like, then I’m all for vanity. In fact, I would posit that creating an image, a persona, an avatar, an alter ego (such as one does on social media) is an act of existentialism. The clothing we wear is significant in how we choose to exist and move through the world.
It’s that hoary old question: Can you be still be friends after sleeping together? A stupid question. Of course you can and should be friends.
For my online friends who have been deleting their Vero accounts because of its CEO’s dodgy past, I admire your idealism but it’s a bit like saying donuts are bad – because, carbs and sugar – whilst you continue to eat bread, cereal, pasta, cakes and cookies every day. If you want to only deal with companies that have a clean record on ethics and morality, if you want to sleep easy at night knowing that you have not helped to support discriminatory, non-inclusive, exploitative, morally offensive practices, then I suggest you should review the truth behind these good things that you probably quite like:
- Subscription-based streaming of TV and movies to your living room.
- The ability to order a hot meal delivered in the next hour from your mobile device.
- The ability to order a cab in the next 5 minutes from your phone.
- Subscription-based streaming of virtually all music ever produced.
- Cheap books or any other consumer product, delivered to you by tomorrow.
- The ability to share your words, pictures, news articles and cat videos with your friends, family and colleagues all around the world.
I want to say something about the trope of the Asian woman. By “Asian” here I mean East Asian, i.e. ethnically Chinese, Japanese, Korean. The Asian fetish has always been a thing (more accurately, the Asian Woman fetish). I can’t blame anyone for being attracted to what they are attracted to. I’m not going to shame you for your foot fetish, so I shouldn’t do it for your race-fetish. Should I? Continue reading “The Asian Woman Fetish”
When I was newly single, post-divorce after over 20 years of marriage, my self-esteem and confidence was pretty low. When dating men, I was always anxious to avoid that bad angle of my neck, tummy or thighs. I thought about getting a boob job practically every single day. It took a while, but some wonderful and patient lovers made me feel that none of those things mattered. C-section scar, loose tummy skin, small tits, muffin top thighs… none of those things were what they saw. They saw me as the sexy and sensual woman that I didn’t even see myself. The more I felt desired, the more desirable I felt. Continue reading “Desire me, and I will be desirable”
I was given this marvellous present by some dear friends. The Cunt Coloring Book was first published in 1975 by Tee Corinne, which makes it almost as old as me. The drawings in the book are part of a project she started in 1973 to document “real women’s cunts”. I will almost certainly never get round to actually colouring them in because I lack the necessary artistic skills to represent the complexity and colour variegation of labia. However, I am certainly enjoying looking at the line drawings and marvelling at the certainty that no two cunts are alike. I wonder if any scientific research has been done with identical twins on this subject – hmmm… *applying for funding now*.
People complained back in the 70’s about the title of this book, and I’m sure they are still complaining now, because ‘cunt’ is for some illogical reason, still seen as the most obscene word in the English language. Cunts are beautiful and wholesome. They are complex, sensitive and flexible. They give pleasure to their owners and to others. They swallow up penises and they push out humans. Why should such strong, life-giving things be associated with the most blasphemous, derogatory, insulting epithet? We should reclaim this word. If anyone calls you a cunt, beam at them and say “Why, thank you! I AM an amazing and mysterious creature!”