I confess that I often fantasise about my dream wedding dress for a hypothetical wedding of the future. It’s a ridiculous fantasy for all sorts of reasons. Reason 1: I’ve been married and it was not a success. Reason 2: I don’t like hosting big parties. Reason 3: I have too many friends and I would either have to invite all of them or none. Reason 4: I see no reason for anyone, but especially me, to get married. Reasons notwithstanding, any woman who likes clothes, regardless of her views on marriage, wants the excuse to wear a sumptuous, lavish gown and draw gasps from passers-by, dazzled by her goddess-like beauty.
To be fair, it’s not marriage that I recoil from; it’s that ghastly boner-killer – Living Together – that really puts me off.
Our bodies are in a state of constant flux – some things get worse, and we get old, and other things improve with age. I’ve learned that the way we experience sexual pleasure is never static. We may think that this is the way we like sex, this is the way we reach orgasm, but change one thing (often the partner) and our whole sexual experience changes.
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People sometimes think that I want to live out my erotic fantasies. Wrong. I like some of my fantasies to stay as just…fantasies. Also, it happens that most of my fantasies are completely impossible to turn into reality. They are just too weird and implausible to be formed into actual scenarios or even visually represented, except maybe through the medium of deviant erotic art. Like these:
Bigger, better, stronger orgasms – for women anyway (we have stats!)
A young friend of mine (she’s in her 20s) confided in me that she couldn’t have orgasms in front of her long term boyfriend and, although she’s been having orgasms since she was 7 or 8, she has never had one in the presence of another person. Continue reading ““Ohhhh Yes””
On the morning of Valentine’s Day (yesterday), I heard a father say to his toddler, “Shall we go and get Mummy some flowers?” The little boy replied seriously, “Mummy would rather have a mango.” Yeah, I’m with you, buddy.