Fantasies never let you down

People sometimes think that I want to live out my erotic fantasies. Wrong. I like some of my fantasies to stay as just…fantasies. Also, it happens that most of my fantasies are completely impossible to turn into reality. They are just too weird and implausible to be formed into actual scenarios or even visually represented, except maybe through the medium of deviant erotic art. Like these:

Being ravaged by tentacles and suckers. Yum
Artwork by Pigolin
“The woman as part of the landscape, with little people drowning in her juices” fantasy. Double Yum. Copyright – Pigolin

See, I told you my fantasies were weird.

There’s a distinction between what I do for my sexual kicks with others, and the private inner porn realm of my mind. For example, Continue reading “Fantasies never let you down”

Podcast: LAID

Listen to me talking to Danusia Malina-Derben at the School for Mothers podcast.

The episode is called LAID and I lay out some of my dating stories, as well as how I approach sexual relationships, lingerie and raising children.

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“Ohhhh Yes”

Bigger, better, stronger orgasms – for women anyway (we have stats!)

A young friend of mine (she’s in her 20s) confided in me that she couldn’t have orgasms in front of her long term boyfriend and, although she’s been having orgasms since she was 7 or 8, she has never had one in the presence of another person. Continue reading ““Ohhhh Yes””

Lust Fest

On the morning of Valentine’s Day (yesterday), I heard a father say to his toddler, “Shall we go and get Mummy some flowers?” The little boy replied seriously, “Mummy would rather have a mango.” Yeah, I’m with you, buddy.

Continue reading “Lust Fest”

Race and Lace

Why is the Lingerie Community so white?

I spent 2018 reading lots of books about feminism, intersectionality and race. A big shout-out to my top read of the year – The Guilty Feminist by Deborah Frances-Wright.

I also spent a bit of time wondering why the lingerie community is so white. Lots of shapes and sizes, but yeah, mainly white bodies. There are some notable high profile lingerie bloggers of colour (looking at Cora Harrington and @comicgirlsneedbras), and whilst I do not put myself in the same exalted category as them, together we form a small group who are putting ourselves out there in our underwear and saying, “look at me celebrating my minimally-clad body for myself.”

But why are there so few of us? Continue reading “Race and Lace”

Nipples

The doorway to women’s sexual pleasure.

Let’s talk about nipples. I know, I know. There has been a lot of talk about the hypocrisy of the media and social media around female nipples. It can be boiled down to this (if I could do infographics, it would be so much more impressive):

Child’s nipple = body part
Man’s nipple = body part
Woman’s nipple = sexual body part, akin to genitalia

I don’t want to talk about that because others have expressed this eloquently in art and words. See my friend Aleksandra Karpowicz’s ‘Male or Female’ images on Instagram, and countless other creative attempts by others to highlight the absurdity of the double standards around nipples.  Yet the world doesn’t seem ready for nipple equality.

I want to talk about how nipples, my nipples especially, are not just decorative. To say they are a gateway to sexual pleasure would be an understatement. My nipples are connected directly to my crotch by some kind of electrical current. I would go so far as to say that my nipples are my primary form of sexual pleasure, on a par with the clitoris. Without nipple stimulation, getting aroused is almost impossible. With the right conditions, I can reach orgasm with just nipple stimulation alone.  I consider myself very lucky.  Continue reading “Nipples”

Slow Fashion Fightback

For some years I’ve been consciously shunning big fashion brands, whether luxury or high street, and actively seeking out small independent labels. There are many reasons for this, not least the ability to find stuff that no one else will be wearing. But reading again last week about Burberry and their disgusting practice of burning millions of pounds worth of old stock (which they say they have now stopped), brings to the fore the horrific amount of waste in the fashion industry, which is both environmentally harmful as well as ethically abhorrent. Maintaining the value in their brand and preventing their brand from entering the discount market is the rationale behind this Bonfire of the Luxuries.  For the fast fashion retailers, the blazing mountains of fabric are simply the end result of over-production and a criminally wasteful supply chain model.  Continue reading “Slow Fashion Fightback”