I confess that I often fantasise about my dream wedding dress for a hypothetical wedding of the future. It’s a ridiculous fantasy for all sorts of reasons. Reason 1: I’ve been married and it was not a success. Reason 2: I don’t like hosting big parties. Reason 3: I have too many friends and I would either have to invite all of them or none. Reason 4: I see no reason for anyone, but especially me, to get married. Reasons notwithstanding, any woman who likes clothes, regardless of her views on marriage, wants the excuse to wear a sumptuous, lavish gown and draw gasps from passers-by, dazzled by her goddess-like beauty.
To be fair, it’s not marriage that I recoil from; it’s that ghastly boner-killer – Living Together – that really puts me off.
Our bodies are in a state of constant flux – some things get worse, and we get old, and other things improve with age. I’ve learned that the way we experience sexual pleasure is never static. We may think that this is the way we like sex, this is the way we reach orgasm, but change one thing (often the partner) and our whole sexual experience changes.
Trying on lingerie is a deeply sensuous process. What other type of purchase involves you being so aware of your physicality and forces you to be grounded in your body? I love buying lingerie in independent stores, where I am surrounded by beautiful things that awaken my sensuality and womanliness. Imagine: being surrounded by soft materials, touching the fabrics that will soon be against your skin, being advised by a lingerie expert who will help you find a style and fit it to you. No two women are the same shape, and finding the right lingerie is therefore a bespoke experience, even if the product is not tailor-made for you. To me, buying lingerie online is a vastly inferior experience. There is great excitement in opening a package but for a truly satisfying shopping experience, I want to feel like a queen, to be pampered, to have people making a fuss over me. This type of customer service is only available in a shop, studio or atelier.
Another reason to be in a shop is that sometimes you just don’t notice a brand’s uniqueness until you see it up close. I was aware of Beija London and I love their quirky campaigns on Instagram, but I wasn’t immediately struck by the lingerie styles as being “me”. However, Julie, the manager of the new Beija store in funky new shopping destination, Coal Drops Yard, invited me to come in for a visit and I am so glad that I did. I now have more lingerie to recommend to women of the world: the women who are not lingerie bloggers or exhibitionists – the 99% of women who want to wear comfortable, stylish, high-quality underwear every day.
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I’ve been roadtesting the Ava bra by Lara Intimates for 2 long days and I can honestly say this is the only bra I’ve not wanted to shed at the end of a day. In fact, I truly forgot I was wearing a bra at all. Soft, double-layered mesh, no under-wiring, but yet you definitely wouldn’t call this a bralet because it is far too supportive and well-constructed.
People sometimes think that I want to live out my erotic fantasies. Wrong. I like some of my fantasies to stay as just…fantasies. Also, it happens that most of my fantasies are completely impossible to turn into reality. They are just too weird and implausible to be formed into actual scenarios or even visually represented, except maybe through the medium of deviant erotic art. Like these: