Bigger, better, stronger orgasms – for women anyway (we have stats!)
A young friend of mine (she’s in her 20s) confided in me that she couldn’t have orgasms in front of her long term boyfriend and, although she’s been having orgasms since she was 7 or 8, she has never had one in the presence of another person. I’m not a sex therapist or a doctor, but I feel humbled and privileged that people think I’m the sort of person that they can talk to about these things. I don’t know where I got the reputation for being non-judgmental and un-shockable, but I’ll take it! I gave my friend a few recommendations for sex therapists, as she admitted that she had issues around shame which she needed to work through. Aside from any pathological cause, I wanted to reassure her that this state of affairs can change over time with a bit of self-awareness, good communication, and perhaps a surrendering of expectation. Above all, hope is not lost. My own experience has been to go from a 1 Orgasm a night girl to a 30xO a night girl. I’m now super-orgasmic and that is a recent development. The reasons are a mystery to me but I think it’s something to do with Pilates, a new-found desire for adventure and a boyfriend who is a “giver”. The point is: we change, our bodies change, our orgasms change.
Continue reading ““Ohhhh Yes””
On the morning of Valentine’s Day (yesterday), I heard a father say to his toddler, “Shall we go and get Mummy some flowers?” The little boy replied seriously, “Mummy would rather have a mango.” Yeah, I’m with you, buddy.
Continue reading “Lust Fest”
Why is the Lingerie Community so white?
I spent 2018 reading lots of books about feminism, intersectionality and race. A big shout-out to my top read of the year – The Guilty Feminist by Deborah Frances-Wright.
I also spent a bit of time wondering why the lingerie community is so white. Lots of shapes and sizes, but yeah, mainly white bodies. There are some notable high profile lingerie bloggers of colour (looking at Cora Harrington and @comicgirlsneedbras), and whilst I do not put myself in the same exalted category as them, together we form a small group who are putting ourselves out there in our underwear and saying, “look at me celebrating my minimally-clad body for myself.”
But why are there so few of us? Continue reading “Race and Lace”
The doorway to women’s sexual pleasure.
Let’s talk about nipples. I know, I know. There has been a lot of talk about the hypocrisy of the media and social media around female nipples. It can be boiled down to this (if I could do infographics, it would be so much more impressive):
Child’s nipple = body part
Man’s nipple = body part
Woman’s nipple = sexual body part, akin to genitalia
I don’t want to talk about that because others have expressed this eloquently in art and words. See my friend Aleksandra Karpowicz’s ‘Male or Female’ images on Instagram, and countless other creative attempts by others to highlight the absurdity of the double standards around nipples. Yet the world doesn’t seem ready for nipple equality.
I want to talk about how nipples, my nipples especially, are not just decorative. To say they are a gateway to sexual pleasure would be an understatement. My nipples are connected directly to my crotch by some kind of electrical current. I would go so far as to say that my nipples are my primary form of sexual pleasure, on a par with the clitoris. Without nipple stimulation, getting aroused is almost impossible. With the right conditions, I can reach orgasm with just nipple stimulation alone. I consider myself very lucky. Continue reading “Nipples”
For some years I’ve been consciously shunning big fashion brands, whether luxury or high street, and actively seeking out small independent labels. There are many reasons for this, not least the ability to find stuff that no one else will be wearing. But reading again last week about Burberry and their disgusting practice of burning millions of pounds worth of old stock (which they say they have now stopped), brings to the fore the horrific amount of waste in the fashion industry, which is both environmentally harmful as well as ethically abhorrent. Maintaining the value in their brand and preventing their brand from entering the discount market is the rationale behind this Bonfire of the Luxuries. For the fast fashion retailers, the blazing mountains of fabric are simply the end result of over-production and a criminally wasteful supply chain model. Continue reading “Slow Fashion Fightback”
Lingerie advice for sexy times: Part 2
I know I have earned my stripes as a sex AND lingerie blogger when women ask for advice on lingerie to wear during sex. I’ve already written about lingerie to get laid in a previous post. Recently however, a follower specifically wanted to get the best type of undies to wear whilst being penetrated from behind, aka, doggy-style. Her husband particularly wanted a good view of her butt and she wanted something special to wear whilst she was on all fours.
Continue reading “Peek-a-booty”
Sugar daddies and sugar babies, how I survived a spell in the sugar bowl.
I was vaguely familiar with the concept of Sugar Daddies (SDs) and Sugar Babies (SBs) – young women, from college age to about mid-twenties, dating older, richer men to fund their way through their studies. They could be doing waitressing, hostessing or lap dancing, but they had chosen sugar dating. When my friend (let’s call her T) suggested that I try sugar dating, my instant reaction was “I’m far too old to be a sugar baby”. Continue reading “Life is sweet: Sugar dating for the uninitiated”